Doritos with extra condescension

PepsiCo* CFO Indra Nooyi is an amazingly stupid person. I say this because she exhibits three of the most pronounced traits of dimwits:

1. Being a dimwit, she feels the need to show off how clever she is. [As demonstrated by the text of this speech] She uses a really dumb and poor analogy to demonstrate, not only her own ethnocentrism, but also her utter contempt for the land and people which afford her the opportunity to be a high-profile dimwit.

2. Being a dimwit, she believes criticism of her remarks must be due to the inablilty of those critics to comprehend her. When people point out what a stupid, hateful, ungrateful and anti-American speech it is she first tries to say that her prepared remarks were "misconstured". She goes on to claim that her anti-American condescension is the subject of "confusion". That's right, in her addled mind we, Americans, the object of her condescension are too stupid to understand her alleged patriotism [alleged but not at all in evidence] and it is we who are confused as a consequence.

Not surprisingly that didn't fly. Being a classic dimwit she engaged in trait number three...

3. Being a dimwit who finds herself in a hole, she keeps on digging. Hence this air-headed non-apology

Following my remarks to the graduating class of Columbia University’s Business School in New York City, I have come to realize that my words and examples about America unintentionally depicted our country negatively and hurt people.

I appreciate the honest comments that have been shared with me since then, and am deeply sorry for offending anyone. I love America unshakably – without hesitation – and am extremely grateful for the opportunities and support our great nation has always provided me.

Over the years I’ve witnessed and advised others how a thoughtless gesture or comment can hurt good, caring people. Regrettably, I’ve proven my own point. Please accept my sincere apologies.

– Indra Nooyi

Note especially the transparently unsupportable line:

I love America unshakably – without hesitation – and am extremely grateful for the opportunities and support our great nation has always provided me.

Hogwash! If that were in the least bit true she wouldn't go give a speech in the public domain which defames not only the nation, but every person in it. If it were in the least bit true she would note somewhere in her speech that American VOLUNTEERS have very recently spilled their blood to free 25 million complete and total strangers from one of the most brutal dictatorships in history. If it were in the least bit true she might notice that these same volunteers are breaking their backs in 120 degree heat to build sanitation infrastructure and schools which all the UN graft on the planet couldn't supply. If it were in the least bit true she could have found ONE good thing to say about America either in her speech or in either of her follow-up statements.

It is amazing to me that a person living a life of so much privelge as an officer of a major corporation can't comprehend that when she opens her big fat mouth that she is speaking on behalf of her employer and as such she has a duty not to insult her employer's customers.

[cue Michael Palin]Easy Mongo! Never kill a customer.

One of the reasons I don't post more personal information is that I work for a corporation, and I am clear that I do not speak for them. Even in day-to-day life I don't go around saying, "As an employee of [big-stupid-corporation-X] I think..." By keeping quiet about them I avoid having to provide disclaimers constantly. But I can only get away with this policy because I am neither a manager nor an officer.

Mrs. Nooyi, being a complete dimwit, gave her speech as PepsiCo CFO.

Indra Nooyi, President and CFO, PepsiCo

It is difficult to separate any comments of PepsiCo's CFO from official PepsiCo corporate policy. But Miss Management here gave this speech in an official capacity. By that fact it is [I argue] an official Corporate statement.

For those who don't know the history, the gesture Mrs. Nooyi builds her speech around evolved from a taunt used by Welsh and English yeomen (longbowmen) toward the French during the Hundred Year's War. It involved holding up the first two fingers of the right hand to demonstrate to the enemy that they were equipped to fight (by pulling a bowstring with those fingers). This taunt is supposed to have come in to use after the French nobility adopted a policy of cutting off those fingers from captured yeomen. I call it "The Yeoman's Salute".

Well Mrs. Nooyi, I too am equipped for this fight, as are many others around the blogoshpere. I suggest you retreat in a big hurry.

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*PepsiCo owns the Frito-Lay brands including [unfortunately] Doritos